You’ve seen the photo. She’s beautiful—could have anybody she wanted.
She wanted you, and a week later she was dead.
Don’t shrinks usually avoid the bottom line?
Is that the bottom line?
So you want to talk about it?
I guess that’s why they put me here. Where do you want me to start?
Entirely up to you.
You’re not writing anything.
Would that make you more comfortable?
Are we being taped?
Do you replay them?
For writers, notes are vital.
Okay—if it’ll make you feel more comfortable, I’ll take notes.
We met at a writer’s conference. She was--
long black, shiny hair, big dark eyes.
Asking me to sign my book for her--
she had an aura of sensuality--
We met up later at the hotel bar--
she leaned close—short skirt riding up--
Do I get to see what you’re writing?
If you like.
Can I edit?
I bought her a couple of drinks and schmoozed--
wanted to fuck her so bad—bustin’ at the seams.
She had a short story with her that she’d written—wasn’t too--
I said she was promising and boy was I right--
Wasn’t too what? You didn’t finish your sentence.
Yeah, sorry—one thing led to another—she made me feel--
she was a goddess.
Made you feel—?
Good. I was going through some rough times—divorce, custody--
brown legs opened—I lasted two minutes—stayed inside and got hard again.
What happened then?
We hit it off pretty good.
Hit it off how?
You know—we—boy she was really hot and--
I’ve noticed you’re having some difficulty finishing sentences.
And we had a great time—boy oh boy--
Ayyy! She cried out when she climaxed.
You stopped again.
Yeah, sorry—where was I?
Boy oh boy.
She was—wow—she was—you know—?
wanted her to stay the night, but she said she had papers to grade.
Let’s get back to the dinner.
We ate—the waiter took that shot of us—the one you’ve got there.
What did you talk about?
We really hit it off.
Okay—how did you hit it off?
You know—there was chemistry—she was a fucking goddess, Doc.
The sex was good. Is that what you mean?
Yeah, really good—I mean—wow.
After the sex, what happened?
We exchanged numbers—said she had papers to grade—she drove home that night.
she promised that she’d call.
Did she call you?
No. Her number was phony.
How did that make you feel?
She forgot to take her story when she left—her number was on it.
You called her.
Yeah—heard kids screaming—some guy’s voice telling them to shut up.
And you surmised—married with children.
I felt pretty bad—needed some kind of closure, you know?
What do you mean by closure?
You’re writing now.
I told her I wanted to see her again. She said no and--
said I loved her. She hung up.
Did you call again?
Yeah—couple of times.
Do you know what this is?
Looks like a phone bill.
You called her fifty-three times.
Yeah—tell me Doc, do you believe in love at first sight?
It’s not important what I think.
That’s what it was—our chemicals mixed and--
she was upset that I kept calling.
You stopped calling her. What happened?
I said I’d leave her alone if she’d meet me once—just to talk.
Did she agree?
She was edgy, but she agreed. I drove there the next day—she lives in Fresno.
Lives in Fresno.
Okay, go on. So—you met with her.
Yeah—the bar at the Hilton. She was so serious—said it had all been a bad mis--
wouldn’t let me touch her.
How did you feel when she said that?
I changed subjects—told her I found a publisher for her story.
She believed you?
Yeah. I told her I had it edited for her—up in my room.
She went in there with you—into the room?
What happened when you got into the room?
I—I pulled her into my arms and--
kissed her—she pushed me away and tried for the door.
She pushed me away.
I pushed back and she fell on the bed and tried to scream.
You know—when you’re so scared that you can’t.
I finally got her to calm--
the pillow was just to quiet her down.
Mister Williams—did you smother Esperanza Gonzalez to death with that pillow?
What? No—we made love—she--
She what, Mister Williams?
She said she loved me—that we’d work it out.
her struggles added to our pleasure and we finished together.
You’re clear about that?
I said, te amo, and she got a kick out of that.
Did you murder Esperanza Gonzalez, Mister Williams?
Why do you keep—? No-no-no—we made plans then.
You were in the room for two days. You refused maid service.
We really hit it off—didn’t leave bed for two days.
Do you remember the police coming on that second night?
We made love. I said, Te amo, te amo.